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 Welcome to

Mason City High School's

Class of 1960

 Web Site 

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From:   James Osegaro

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Subject: The Man who gave up sex for golf

 

 

The Man Who Gave Up Sex for Golf

 

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.

"Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbles to himself. 

 

Just then, some stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"

 

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sounds good to me," and promptly sinks the putt!

 

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one."

 

The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers, “Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?"

 

Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And, amazingly, he makes the eagle. 

 

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, “Could winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”

 

"Definitely," the golfer replies, and sure enough he makes the eagle and wins the match. 

 

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all."

 

“Nice to meet you," the golfer replies. "I'm Father O'Malley.”

 

Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kind. But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year. He said that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and he hasn't called back. Guess he was embarrassed.

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                                               A Positive Attitude

• 
  After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot

  finally regained consciousness. 

   

  He  was in a hospital, in a lot of pain.  He found himself in the ICU with tubes and

          IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse 

  hovering over him, looking worried.  It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.

   

  
  The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes.  Knowing he was not only 

              a fighter pilot, but a Marine, she spoke to him softly  and slowly, enunciating each 

  word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down.”
  
  Somehow, he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your boobs, then?
  
  And that, my friends, is a real Positive Attitude!!